chimes of a forgotten melody

* Dedicated to Amma and Achan * It was a single-roomed quarters that existed at a time far before technology, you may say it outlives other memories of home precisely because of this attribute - there was more life, more birds, more stars in the night sky than I've ever known. Along its walls my crayons traced intimacy, on its floors I urinated unperturbed. I knew nature, I grew aware for the first time, I dreamt my most artless dreams and slept with no concerns.. *** There was this story of a mahout and elephant that Amma would say to me when I was barely learning to talk. I still hear Amma's concerned voice saying how the elephant who grew restless at the way the mahout treats him kills him one day. This creates anger and fear among people around and they call a forest guard to kill the elephant, because apparently he had become 'dangerous'. The guard picks up a gun from somewhere and repetitively shoots the elephant, the elephant succumbs, crying...

Perhaps, Cosmic infinities could not have contained our purposeless love. Maybe, Galaxies around us could not have sheltered our twilight hopes. Truly, Our only misgiving was an expanding universe harboring darker halves of us all. Sadly, We are but nothingness living an enlightened accident, Moving away from each other since our birth.

This is the first of a series of stories (hopefully) which I like to call 'Flutter'. I believe you can gauge the intent of these stories once you read them. Love, Anand. *** Ameena would lie down in her balcony on days like these, wondering where she came from and what her purpose was in life.  Aluva river, in front of her, peacefully flowing onto the Arabian Sea would reflect starry ski es above. She felt intimately related to the celestial peace which descended around her; moon in the distance, lights from the airport, and the ever benevolent silence. She could imagine the farthest extents of Universe right here in this negligible point in a negligible Earth, for that she was thankful. The chicken curry her husband threw on her face still burned her eyes and nose, it was spicy alright. He used a word to describe it specifically and her existence generally, she couldn't help but think about it. How would he know what that word means to her, how would he ...

Who can gauge, The depths of human mind in thought, Effervescent streams of velvet hope, Red-shifting music that sink souls in thriving pools of celestial re-births and re-discoveries. Who can fathom, The distances a migrating bird must fly, Vagaries and silence of lives beneath, The art of a rare chemical dance and its unpronounced everyday evolutions, A story of recurring dreams, Painted with dark nostalgic loves left behind. Who can put to words, The grandeurs of extinct universes, Their sunlit banks, their wonderous cosmic evenings, Beginning of life, death of stars and a heroic force, Working upon primordial imperfections, To build home as we know it now.

I heard you say my truths are veiled lies, I heard you say my mind is crooked and high, I heard you say people detest my chronic rhymes, I heard you say what am I but my routine jibes, I heard you say nobody follows my divergent vibes, I heard you say fuck yourself, go and die. But my dear, these insecurities, they are mine, Mock me, choke me, sock me, I will live my life!

I contain multiple loves. I love how wet earth drags her alluring lips on my hardened cheeks, I love silent mountains shouting unused truths, I love my mother's milk and memories of her breasts, I love your hands when they entangled mine. It stagnates as avenues shrink, Souls to receive it reclines self-seeking, Equally alone as I maybe. My fathomless loves rot and infect, Turns malignant, Soak and wrinkle uncontainably, I dribble blood. Everything I love kills me a little more.

Let my words be flawless today, Clear as silver stream, Fresh as morning spring, Let it reach you toiling through doubts in your mind, Let it move along your turbulent vistas, Where piety had made melancholic tombs, And proceeds of war made wounds that can't be healed, Where I once made my abode severing your rueful constraints. Let my words reach there again, As an ending quote, Or maybe a wholesome resurgence, Like light following an eclipse, Like land after years of sea, Let my words make meanings, For long it was only noise - farcical moonshine, Today let it be plain and from my hardened heart, Let it leave no doubt, no points to guess, No rhyming sentences, no superficial nonsense. I want it straight, As pure as my perpetual longing, As unfettered as my resurrecting love, Evading your shallow pools of dubiety, Caressing the happiness we shared and the grief we forgot, Let it touch the nights we laid awake, Let it bring rainbows for our storms, Let it...