Sunday, 18 August 2013

Conversations with God


Dear God,

It is not that I need to say,
But my heart is not giving a way,
You are the one who knows it all
(Cause after all you made it all),
Meager is it to converse on me,
When you are the architect of
Each and every one of my cell.

Sometimes whilst I sleep, I see
Lights that blind me with radiance,
I feel my head shake with violence,
I hear the sounds of an ebullient bang,
Then I see me flying like a drop in the night,
A whole world of people join me,
We settle near our homes in a bubble.

Like all dreamers, I wish to know
What it meant? Hope to hear a reply.

With love and account,
A fellow born out of your hand.


Dearest God,

It is only after I ceased the anxious
Spread of words last time, I realised
I never knew whom to send to
(Never have I known where you live),
This is why I kept it beneath a statue of Christ,
Which I am sure you would have got.

It is to be noted that I never got answers,
Maybe some answers are best when unsaid.

I searched for you in the church,
I hunted you among temples,
I even slithered beneath Buddhist caves,
But all I found were images without life.

Sometimes when I get afraid,
I stubbornly call your name,
But no mountains moved on my word,
Is this because I love you less?

I find truth unfurling like rising dust,
The more it shall rise, the lesser you see.

With love and intense account,
A fellow who loves you more and more.



Days where I waited have gone,
Yet, the pursuit for truth continue,
I met people, I saw lives,
I heard unanswered prayers and
Dying saints.

I blaspheme now,
Why do you spread hatred?
Why are people fighting each other?
Why do souls haunt even after death?
Why do they drink and fill their thirst,
Out of the Earth's chopped breast?

Beliefs are meant to change,
And some truths be left unsearched.

While you are asleep behind a fading image,
I shall spread the search onto my mind,
I hope to find you cold and dead,
Cause it is I who made you with my fear,
And I am sure I killed you with my sense.

With the last drops of love,
A fellow who failed to find you.


My dear mind,

What distances should I traverse to find you?
What toils should I receive to taste your essence?
Within the arduous lies you create, I wept
Within the boundless happiness you showered,
I fluttered on unafraid.

When my search for you began I was afraid
Of not finding you, I was afraid I may end
Up monotonously settling back onto normality,
When I tasted your faintest scent, the fear turned,
I was afraid of my cynical knowledge finding you,
Conquering you and crushing you with all its
Idealistic irreverence. But then you stood firm.

Oh, heavenly it is to know little,
My dear dearest mind,
You made me taste the bitter tastes of spree,
Now take my body and possess it,
Devour it with your insurmountable force,
Alter it, rattle it and then kill it.


  1. Wow, what a progression in these poems, Anand. I appreciated each of them, the questions in each, your desire to understand, your search for truth. There is so much about God that we don't understand, so much that we wish to understand. I can only hope that someday all will make perfect sense. Again....wonderful work here!!

  2. it is quite humbling that we could talk to the creator of all...and quite frankly as well...and there are def plenty of hard questions i have when i meet god...or maybe then i wont need the answers...smiles.

  3. Very deep and intense thoughts. These days youngsters donot believe in god , but I see otherwise here plus there is lot of maturity too. These questions are eternal and have been asked many a times by sages and people.I feel the answers are inside us only, as god has made us his reflection, but the worldly sins and materialism overshadow us and down the line we forget the real purpose of life. But such thoughts provoke us to wake up and see as to where we are heading. Liked this poem very much:)

    1. Vandana,

      I may correct you slightly. I do not have a disbelief in God, I have a disbelief in his form. We have read a lot about God being love in our Hindu literature. I have not read widely on this aspect, but according to my knowledge, many other religious books bring out that essential fact. So the harder we search for God, I believe (again it is just my belief) the more we realize that he is a part of our mind. A part that provokes us to think, a part which is so powerful that the slightest taste we experience of it would change our lives, quite like how God can. In the end we all end up dead, but if we taste God, that is love (love in the sense of 'humanity'), we all end up living a holy life. I believe it is the same philosophy discussed in religious texts, but with a difference that they put forward a human image for God.

  4. This is quite a progress you have... that's what is difficult for humans... why is there evil ... can god.. only way is to accept and live a good life anyway... very readworthy

  5. i loved reading this.. " Cause it is I who made you with my fear,
    And I am sure I killed you with my sense." - interesting mind loved the last letter the most.. as for me... i find "god" in nature..there it seems like the force is close.

  6. Very engaging series of poems! I liked the idea of the progression too.

  7. i used to write letters to god for years where i really poured out my heart to him and asked many, many some i got an answer - to some i still wait or don't need it any more... cool convo with the mind as well...

  8. Anand, there is a wonderful progression in this series of poems and I also appreciate your explanation in the comments section. Since God is love seems to be the basis of all religions, it astounds me how many conflicts there are in the name of religion. Sigh. I really appreciated reading these poems. Awesome work.

  9. ...Cause it is I who made you with my fear,And I am sure I killed you with my sense... Is there anything more and beyond to believe in than that of his existence dwelling within. Brilliantly written out thoughts.

  10. Thanks guys. Loved all your comments. :)